yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
