We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize