I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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