Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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