We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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