So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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