I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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