did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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