i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize