I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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