I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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