She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
