I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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