Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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