You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I stole a fireplace last night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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