sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Come share oat with me in your robe
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
