id be glad to
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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