David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
