I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
