I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize