Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
