After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
