idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
