HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
