so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
