My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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