So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
