What did we do last night that was yellow?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He has the fingertips of a God
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