you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
