Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize