you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize