i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
