if i can run in heels then i can drive
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
