If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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