She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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