WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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