the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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