i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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