I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
