I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize