Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
