i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
