Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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