i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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