so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
