3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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