just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
