I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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