Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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