My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
