We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
