i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
