Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
