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I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
