she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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