She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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