So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
