i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize