another moral hangover. fuck.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
