did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize