something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
