I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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