i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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