Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
