You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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