as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In America we eat man semen.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
