K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
