Don't make out with my wife yet
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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