Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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