Everything about him screamed your future.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
