I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
