Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
